Sheena Gupta


Sheena Gupta

 

Marriage gets rocked

“I was married in July of the year. It appeared as if it were the happiest day for my family! There was so much joy. I was excited to find the man of my dreams. He was handsome, well placed in life and he made me feel so good. My parents opened their treasure chest and gifted me handsomely. After all marriage is a one-time affair in a normal household.

Slowly I settled down in my new home and life with my husband and his parents. New home, new adjustments but that had been explained well during my growing years.

But I remember the day in August very vividly. Actually that day has been inked in my mind as if it can never be wiped clean. The day began with some dizziness.

Was this something good happening to me, I wondered! Of course everyone at home believed it lead there, so we rushed to the doctor. The result of the tests came in the evening. I was detected with chronic kidney disease. I understood nothing about it. What it meant and why I had it! Even as my mind was sorting out information, the sudden change in mood in the household was so swift that I did not have time to understand the disease and what it meant to my life and existence.

Slowly I realized that my mother-in-law believed that her son was trapped in the marriage with a person with kidney disease. That this was an old trick played by parents to give away a diseased person in marriage.
In the meantime I also got pregnant. I lived in a hell where I had to handle all the abuse during my pregnancy. It was a high-risk pregnancy and the toughest phase in my life where I had only problems to resolve, with no shoulder to lean on. My parents were heartbroken not only because of the soured relationship, which turned into a torture of all sorts each day of my life, but also because my life with kidney disease was at great risk.

How many times I wanted to end my life! Suicide was constantly on my mind.

But the little one in my womb made me want to live.

There was no question of any separation from the marriage as that was clearly not acceptable to them.

As a woman, I became a pawn to verbal abuse, to be treated with suspicion and left both physically weak and mentally shattered. I had less time to accept my disease and fight it, while most of my time was lost to sort out the state of chaos around me.

My father became my savior. He donated me a kidney so my life could get a semblance of normalcy. God has indeed blessed me with good parents and a wonderful 5 year old.

What to hope for the future, I don’t know, but I surely want to take control of my life.”

Sheena Gupta

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